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No Atheists in Foxholes

Advent Day #4 – “Night”

Night is when I search most for God’s presence. Something primal exists in the quiet. Triumphs, failures, and all the ordinary replay in recursive loops. And this is the time where the dread questions pop into existence without the day’s bustle to push them back down. What if? Did he? Did she? How? Why and all the other questions.

This is also a time where my mind careens through its day and a time when mindfulness practice doesn’t compel me to sweep thoughts away. They rush in to fill the sudden void. Clocks tick. People breathe. Sometimes a car passes by and muffled voices reach the window.

This is when I reach for God. I’m aware of God the rest of the time, but I am striving now to do more of what we pray during the Eucharist,

Open our eyes to see your hand at work in the world about us. Deliver us from the presumption of coming to this Table for solace only, and not for strength; for pardon only, and not for renewal.

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